Why can't a good feeling last forever? Why is it that when you least expect a bad thing to happen, that's precisely when it does! When you are at the pinnacle of happiness, you are suddenly pushed to the bottom of the mountain. You don't just roll down the mountain. You come crashing down.

Because we belong to the "instant" generation, the 'breaking news' spreads like wildfire. Within hours, the whole world knows that you have fallen down. But they won't spare you.They will certainly boggle you down still further. How? With hundreds of text messages, phone calls and personal meetings. It's fine till here. But the toughest part is when they ask "what's the plan now?" People please! All I and my family have done so far is recall the entire episode to every Narayanaswamy, Lakshminarayan periappa, Saraswati Mami, Kaveri akka etc in this world. You really believe that these people sympathize you and have come to lessen your pain. But sometimes the best of intentions rub in the wrong way. Every individual wants to listen to every minute detail! Never mind that you are upset. They will still have questions and will expect you to reply then and there. "Oh Really? How did it happen? What time was it? Where were you? Where was the rest of the family? Who informed you? What time? Did you finish your lunch by then? Where did you have lunch? Who informed outsiders? I got to know from this person, did you inform her? No??? Then who told her?

Nobody seems to understand that we haven't yet digested the news, let alone decide the next course of action. As a family, we haven't sat down with one another to talk things out. As soon as the rapid fire questioning of the past event is done, the next rapid fire question set is ready. This time its about the future course of action.

initial days of being transferred

Written in Feb 2006:

Location: Gurgaon

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going….or so they say. Here, it seems neither. The tough isn’t growing…but neither is the patience. They all are at the same level. Static? Maybe. Reality seems too vague at this moment. And so does hope.

Nah, hope can’t be vague. In my case, it is more like the sunshine here; sometimes at its peak and sometimes hidden somewhere….you can’t reach it…but can just sit and wonder when it will be out soon.

Watching the skyline gives the thought that the foundation should be strong enough to grow that tall. But is this foundation of career, the so called ‘ideal’ career??? 7 months in the hinterland….not knowing exactly how hugely fragmented our nation is, then flown to north to the capital city. Well not exactly to the capital, but a place close to the capital city.

To cherish each moment is equivalent to day-dreaming, dreaming about being surrounded by friends, relatives, in the warmth of Mumbai. That sounds like a distant dream….a dream of about 1176 km, that’s the approximate distance between Mumbai and Delhi. I am saying approximate because each airline mentions its own sweet figure.

Each morning, the tiny rays of sun enter the room and whisper something. One can’t always make out what it wants to say. However, the very next day, you will realize what it must have said (the previous day). It must have said, ‘Enjoy my warmth today. I intend to be on leave tomorrow.’

That’s exactly how each moment is passed here. Some moments one fails to fully understand what’s happening, but still moving on and sometimes one clearly knows what’s happening. No matter what the case may be, the fact of the matter remains, that you need to live each moment, FULLY.

Sayings

Kuch is tarah………. I dreamt
Floating like the Lotus in the water,
My fragrance will be felt,
What comes, no matter!

Kuch is tarah…….. tides turned
Career floating turned into career sinking,
Seemed as if I had no water to move on,

That’s when I realized I’m a Lotus,
Need to hold on
No matter how dirty my surrounding is!


Don’t they say ‘God helps them, those who help themselves?’ If I continue to accept the muddle, am I being tolerant or am I simply being ignorant?

They also say, ‘Knowing what the problem is half the battle won!’ But, I do not know what the problem is. Being here, being here & being in a department where I am jobless or , being here & being in a department where I would not have time to breathe or being here and being in a department where each night is day and each day is still day, in terms of work???? Which part is the problematic part??

Well, let others say what they want….Someone wise said, ‘Home is where the heart is…’ My home is Mumbai….! Period.

"This too shall pass....." irrespective of whether this is good or bad. Nothing in this life stays forever, though almost all of us want things to last until eternity.

"This too shall pass" is one of those phrases which my mom uses to lift me up when I'm down. But soon, I realised that the phrase or rather the saying can be used even for good times. Make the most of the good times. You never know how long it will last, for..... this too shall pass.

Born and brought up suburban Mumbai and being the only child of a Tam-Brahm couple, I have seen the best of tradition and the best of the country's fast-paced city, rather fastest paced. Everything about Mumbai is my favourite, whether we talk about the innumerable cuisines available, the number of eating joints open even at 11pm or we talk about the umpteen places to shop or about the care-free attitude of the people!

Well, in the last one, I think the care-free attitude is being exploited. The attitude has become more of choosing to ignore things rather than being care-free. Whether choosing to ignore the piles of garbage lying on the road for months together or watching the signs of 'Go slow. Work in Progress' on the same road, same spot for over 4 years and then jokingly saying that it should read as: 'Go. Slow work in progress' and then moving on with life. Not that I have done anything to change it. I too go with the flow. I too choose to ignore certain aspects of the city that has brought me up and made me what I am.

Now that I have left the city a little less than a month ago and living very close to the capital, i have realised the importance of living in the financial capital of the country. The public transport available, the safety it provides, the warm smile of strangers one walks pass through etc. The place where I live now has nothing called as public transport. And when I say nothing, I actually mean NIL.

Yeah, I know the city's name itself has a "gaon" has its suffix. But, that doesn't mean it has to lack public transport to such an extent. What about the innumerable commercial buildings which have come up? These have led to a sharp rise in the number of residential buildings, malls etc. My uncle once jokingly said that inspite of being so close to the capital and having such an excellent winter, the vegetables are expensive than Mumbai. Guess, the city has transformed from the so called 'gaon' to a city of High Net Worth individuals. Well, maybe.

People here, either just hate Mumbai or love it. You never find anyone in between. The hate list is far longer than the love list - hate its weather, hate its mess (read garbage, flith, narrow roads, complete concrete jungle etc.) hate the omnipresent crowd, hate the fact that everyone is in a hurry....well, they jsut about hate everything

People who love it....love just about everything. How ironic! Same city, same infrastructure, same city, DIFFERENT OPINIONS ABOUT IT...

Well, I guess this too shall pass. I'll just hope that my beloved Mumbai gets its importance like its counterpatrDelhi. Meanwhile, this too shall pass